


Finding Deano

by Navajo_Woman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Gay Sex, Love, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Relationship(s), Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 04:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navajo_Woman/pseuds/Navajo_Woman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is on probation and gets referred to Cas for counseling. Cas soon figures out he is way too attracted to Dean to counsel him, so he hands him off to another counselor. Thus begins a rocky relationship...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time, so please be gentle! Will you respect me in the morning? I will update new chapters as often as I can.

Fuck on a stick, Castiel was beat! He had back to back sessions all day long and didn’t even get lunch because a client was in crises and had to be talked down. He was getting ready for the last appointment of the day. Dean was finishing up probation from a pretty nasty bar fight, and was court-ordered for counseling. It would be up to Castiel when or even if, Dean got off his probation. 

In response to the knock, Castiel crossed his office and opened the door. He really hadn’t known what kind of man he expected to see, but he certainly was not expecting this… this drop-dead gorgeous man standing in front of him. Dean was about an inch taller, had messy brownish/reddish hair and the greenest green eyes Castiel had ever seen. And freckles!

Castiel stammered, “Come in” and stepped aside.

Dean shuffled in like a man walking to his own execution. He sat on the couch where Castiel indicated and crossed his legs in a wide stance. His jeans were tight in all the right places and it was obvious he had a very nice package. Castiel willed his eyes up to the man’s unhappy face.  
“Mr. Winchester, my name is Castiel Novak. I really would like it if you would call me Castiel. May I call you Dean?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You’re here because your probation officer feels you would benefit from some counseling before he allows you off your probation. I can see you’re not too happy about this, but believe me when I say I am only here to help you. The sooner we deal with some things, the sooner you can get off probation and get back to your life.”

Dean responded in an angry voice, “Deal with things? I got drunk. I beat the shit out of a guy in a bar. What the fuck is there to ‘deal with’?”

“I don’t know, Dean. Maybe why you beat the shit out of some guy in a bar? Maybe why you are so angry right now?”

“Fuck you.” Dean just stared at his own feet.

Castiel was used to angry clients. “Okay, fuck me then. But I am the one who can get you off probation. So you really need to try a little harder to win me over here, pal. What are you afraid of?”

Dean flashed his green eyes at Castiel. There was fear there for any trained eye to see.

“Afraid? I am not fucking afraid of you!”

Castiel decided to take a different tack. “Okay, fine. No fear. Why don’t you just tell me what happened on the night of the fight.”

“Fuck. Okay. I had a bad day. I went to a bar. I got drunk. Some asshat said something to me that I didn’t like. So, I hit him. I hit him a few times. I may have bounced his head off the bar a couple of times, too.”

“What exactly did he say to you that made you so angry?

“I don’t want to talk about that!”

Castiel made a mental note to check the police file of the incident and see if it had any information about that the man said to Dean that set him off so violently; after all, he had put the man in the hospital with a concussion and a broken jaw.

Their time was about up, so Castiel made the next appointment with Dean. They agreed on the last appointment of the day 3 days from now. This gave Dean the opportunity to not miss any work. Dean huffed out of the office, leaving Castiel to contemplate the entire session.

First he put a call in to Dean’s probation officer and requested the police file. Next he made some notes about the session. Then he leaned back in his chair and thought, absently chewing on a pencil. His mind wandered to Dean’s startlingly green eyes. Those freckles across his nose… Dean’s tight jeans… shit! Castiel needed to curb this shit immediately! It was completely unethical to become involved with a client. And plus, he didn’t even know if Dean was gay.

Time to go grab some dinner and go home. Castiel drove to his favorite diner to grab some take out. The Roadhouse Bar and Grille was like the bar on Cheers; everybody knew his name. After waving at and chatting with a few of the regulars, his cheeseburger and fries were in a bag and he headed on home.

Castiel loved his old house. Two stories and three bedrooms were way too much house for him but he had fallen in love with it on sight. He had money left him from his mother’s estate so he bought it outright. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped channels until something caught his eye and ate his meal. When he swallowed the last of his beer, he turned off the TV, cleaned up and went to bed. It was early, but he was really tired from the long ass day he’d had. 

Tired or not, he couldn’t sleep. His mind just kept wandering back to Dean. He was going to have to get laid soon! It had been too long and this obsession with a client was bad news.

 

Dean was really pissed when he left the numbskull’s office. Normally, when a dark mood was on him, he would go to a bar and get hammered. But because he was on probation… no drinking. No bar. So he just went home.

When he got inside his apartment, he just sat in the dark. He thought about being on probation and what a huge pain in the ass it was. And now, he had Mr. Cas-fucking-something Novak to deal with. What the hell was his name anyway? Shit, Dean couldn’t remember.

Of course, one thing the fuck nut said was true: the sooner he opened up, the sooner he could be done with probation and get back to his life. He pictured the guy and what sprung to his mind right off were those piercing blue eyes! Damn that man had beautiful eyes! 

Okay, what the ever-loving fuck? Where did that even come from? The guy was probably straight, probably married with at least two rugrats, and he was the counselor! Completely disgusted with himself, Dean went to bed.

He just kept picturing those eyes! His cock stood right up, at attention for old blue eyes… Dean tried to picture other good-looking men while he gripped his cock and ran his hand up and down, but it always just came back to those blue eyes.  
 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas learns some startling news about Dean's past. The second session didn't go that well, either. But in the third one, there are some sparks!

Castiel received the police report the day before Dean’s next scheduled appointment. Basically, it said that the guy Dean had beat up had been overheard by several people trying to proposition Dean. Apparently, the guy thought Dean was a hooker. While Castiel could see where that would be insulting and irritating, he didn’t see how it warranted the beat down that Dean had inflicted on him.

Castiel began to doubt that this was the first blemish on Dean’s record. He sat at his computer and used the software to look up Dean’s criminal past. Dean had a series of run-ins with the cops and they all seemed to involve drinking. He also noted that Dean had a sealed juvenile record. Castiel made a couple of calls and called in a couple of favors and got the sealed records pulled and sent to his office.

The juvie records showed up the morning of Dean’s appointment. Castiel opened them and read. He was horrified by the story that unfolded. Dean’s mother had died when Dean was 10 and his little brother Sam was 6. His father became a mean and abusive drunk. It was discovered by the school system when Dean was 12 that his father was pimping him out to men. The boys were removed from the home and the father went to prison. He was murdered in prison a year later.

Dean and Sam went through a series of foster homes. The second Dean turned 18, he pulled Sam out of a foster home, got a job as a mechanic and supported them both. Curious, Castiel did a search for Sam Winchester. 

He was amazed to find out that Sam had graduated high school with honors, gotten a full ride to Stanford and was now a successful attorney! Castiel had no doubts that Dean had been responsible for Sam’s success.

This certainly explained why Dean would beat the crap out of a man mistaking him for a hooker.

 

Dean was mentally prepared for this counseling session. He figured he could jive his way through, giving the guy what he wanted, or just enough to get off probation anyway. He knocked on the door and smiled when the guy opened it up and let him in the room.

The first thing that struck him, though, was just how drop-dead gorgeous this Novak guy was! Beyond those electric blue eyes, dude had a body that would not quit. Dean glanced over Novak’s jeans and it really looked like he had an impressive package. Pulling his eyes up, he started to talk.

He had his speech all prepared: “First off, I need to apologize for my behavior last session. I was angry but I realize that isn’t going to help me here. Also, I am sorry, but I can’t remember your name.”

“My name is Castiel. I don’t blame you for not remembering it. It is unusual, I know. I was actually named for an angel.”

“Huh! An angel, huh? Interesting.”

“Well, my mother was hoping I’d become a priest. That did not work out.” 

Castiel smiled. Dean smiled. Their eyes met for a moment and they both just stopped… they both seemed lost in the eyes of the other…Castiel coughed and looked away quickly.

“Uh, I got the police record of your fight. I was curious. It seems that the guy mistook you for a hooker. That’s why you beat him up?”

Dean quickly looked at the floor, “Yeah. It pissed me off.” 

Castiel waited for Dean to say anything else, but nothing was happening.

“Dean, I can understand where that would be annoying and embarrassing, but you really took it over the top. I’m wondering why.”

“Look, Cas, Castiel, whatever… I took anger management classes. I’m not drinking. Can’t we just let the ‘why’ part slide?”

Castiel paused a bit, and then said softly, “You know Dean, I don’t think we can let it slide. We don’t have to get into this today, but I do think we will need to get in to it eventually.”

Dean saw red. “Fuck! Eventually? Fuck, fuck, fuck, how long are we going to be at this shit?”

“Sort of depends on you Dean. But our time is up. Same time next week?”

“Yeah, sure” Dean almost flew out the door.

Castiel just sighed. He was sure he’d seen Dean checking him out. What was he going to do if they were mutually attracted to one another? Castiel was not sure he had the will power to just ignore this gorgeous man if he was also interested. Shit! What a potential mess.

 

Dean just wanted out of that office as quickly as he could do it. On the one hand, he was sure the counselor had been checking him out. No ring on his finger but that didn’t mean much these days. The way he was feeling right now, normally he would head to a bar, get drunk and pick up some guy for down and dirty, completely meaningless sex. But, no drinking, no bars… meant no sex. Fuck! Dean just went home and jacked off again.

 

The next three days were miserable for both men. Appointment time finally arrived. Dean had decided to feel the counselor out (so to speak) about his personal situation, so he strode into the office confidently and sat with his leg crossed over the other one at the ankle. He was pleased to see Cas (Dean had taken to thinking of him as ‘Cas’) flick his eyes to Dean’s crotch.

Castiel was the first to speak, “So how has your week been going?”

“Just fine, Cas. Can I call you Cas?” Dean blinked his forest green eyes.

“Uh, yeah, I guess. Never had a nickname before.”

“Cool. You’ve got one now, counselor. So about my week. I have done a lot of thinking. Thought about my brother, Sam, and what he would think of all this. He’s my only family. Do you have any family, Cas?”

“I’ve got 2 brothers. Our parents are dead. That’s it for me.”

“Not married, then? Going steady?”

“Not that it really is any of your business, but no, I am not married and not currently dating anyone. What about you, Dean?”

“Nope, never married, never in any serious relationships. Free as a bird.”

Castiel needed to bring this back under his control.

“So, your brother Sam doesn’t know about your current situation?”

“No. I don’t want him to. He is a big shot lawyer and I am just his embarrassing brother.”

The 2 men began to chat more comfortably with one another. The time seemed to fly by. The time came for it to end, and Castiel went to open the office door. At the exact same time, Dean reached for the knob as well. Their hands touched. Both men sensed a moment of electricity, but neither took a hand away. They looked into each other’s eyes… “See you at the end of the week?”

“Yeah.” Dean turned the knob and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas hands Dean off to another counselor. A misunderstanding turns into a date.

That was it! Castiel was going to have to hand Dean off to another counselor! He could not continue to kid himself into thinking he wasn’t incredibly attracted to Dean, and that attraction would completely prevent him from being able to help Dean in any meaningful way.

The next morning, Castiel called his friend Meg to ask if she would take over the case. He filled her in on the particulars of the case, and established that she had an opening at Dean’s regular time. Next, he called Dean.

Of course, he got the answering machine. Dean would be working. He identified himself, and then explained that he was handing Dean off to Meg for the rest of his counseling. He told him that Meg would be able to accommodate his standing appointments, and gave Dean her office number. He finished by encouraging Dean to call him with any questions he had about this switch.

 

Dean was pretty damned pleased with himself after his last appointment. He had established that Cas was single and it was plain that the man was gay. He caught himself planning to ask Cas out on a date as soon as their counseling shit was concluded. Shit he felt girly! But still…

It all came crashing down for Dean when he listened to Cas’ message. Fuck! He knew he wasn’t good enough for Mr. Fancy-Pants! Every time he got his hopes up about anything, shit like this happened. Well, fuck Mr. Novak! Just… fuck him.

 

Castiel waited around his office during the time that Dean had his first appointment with Meg. When he was sure the session would be over, he walked down to Meg’s office and went in.

“Well, Castiel, this was a disaster of fuck ton proportions!”

“Why? What went wrong?”

“Mr. Winchester is under the impression that you think you are too good to bother with a lowly mechanic like him. He was really angry at you, but under it all, I sensed that he was… well, hurt?”

“Oh no. No, no, no! I’m so sorry! Are you and he going to be able to work things out?”

“Yeah, I think so. But really, Castiel, I think you should call him. I gather you didn’t really give him a reason for passing him off to me. You need to explain your reasons. Reasons, by the way, that you have not explained to me either.”

“Uh, yeah, well…” Castiel just left.

As soon as he got to his car, Castiel tried calling Dean. He got the answering message.

“Dean, it’s, uh, it’s Cas. Meg told me you were upset with me, and I think there has been a big misunderstanding. I really want to explain. Please, call me.”  
And he waited. The next day, still no call. He tried again.

“Dean it’s Cas. Again. Please call me. I just want to talk to you! Please.”

Later that day: “Dean, it’s Cas. Damn it! Call me!”

When the day ended with no call, Castiel looked up the address of the garage where Dean worked, and decided he was going to go confront the man the very next morning.

Castiel showed up at Singer’s Automotive bright and early. He strolled into the bays and looked around for Dean. He spotted a familiar-looking ass bent over the engine of a vintage Dodge Charger and walked over.

“Dean.”

Dean whirled around and at first registered shock, which quickly turned into anger.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well, you wouldn’t return any of my phone calls, so you pretty much left me no choice. I came here to explain.”

Dean’s green eyes flashed with gold flecks. “I am not,” he hissed, “interested in your explanations!”

“Well, you’re damn well going to hear me out!” Castiel grabbed Dean by the arm and began to drag him out of the bay.

“Dean is taking a smoke break!” he yelled at the boss, who was standing there with his mouth open.

“Dean don’t smoke!”

“Well, he is exploring the notion of taking it up then!”

The silly retort actually tickled Dean. He began to chuckle in spite of himself as Castiel pulled him out and next to a car.

Castiel pushed Dean up against the side of the car, and kissed him. He forced his tongue into Dean’s mouth, and soon enough, Dean began to kiss back. It was far from the most passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced; in fact it turned sort of wet and messy. But they were both a bit breathless when it ended.

“What the ever loving fuck?!” Dean looked angry again, but he looked more confused.

“Dean, I have been wanting to do that ever since you first walked into my office. Every session I found it more difficult to concentrate on what I should have been concentrating on because it became all I could think about. You have to understand, dating a client is the worst thing a counselor can do. I would have lost my job, lost my license and you would have ended up on probation for a lot longer than necessary. I had to hand you off.

Dean started to say something but Castiel put his finger to the younger man’s lips and cut him off.

“Let me finish, please. Far from thinking that you aren’t good enough for me, I actually question whether I am good enough for you. But having said that, I really would like to ask you on a date.”

There was a brief silence.

“Are you finished, dude?” Castiel shook his head in the affirmative.  
“Wow, you sure can talk!” Dean chuckled. “I was thinking the same thing about you after my first session ended. And yeah, I guess I would like to go on a date with you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date goes great. Get ready for some hot sex!

“Well, okay then!” Cas couldn’t believe that had turned out as well as it did.

“I’ll cook dinner for us, if that’s all right with you? Anything you can’t or won’t eat?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. And there is not one damn thing I won’t eat. Can I bring anything? And there had better be pie!” Dean was grinning from ear to ear.

“I’ll text you my address. Say, 6 tonight?”

“Cool. I’ll be there”

Cas left feeling like he was walking on a cloud. He hadn’t been with anyone in almost two years. He was excited, and scared shitless. He called in sick and had all of his appointments rescheduled. He rushed to do grocery shopping and go home to clean his (already spotless) house and get ready for… a date!

 

Dean walked back in to work just shaking his head. Bobby looked up from the car he was working on and asked, “What in blue blazes was that all about?”

“Uncle Bobby, I’ve got a date!”

“With that bozo? What’s with that trench coat? He a spy or something?”

Dean just chuckled and said, “Yeah, or something.” and got back to work.

Dean got off work at 4 that day and rushed back to his apartment to drink a beer and get ready. As he sat swigging his beer, panic set in. Dean hadn’t been with anyone for almost a year, and before that it was mainly a series of drunken one night stands with both men and women. What could Cas Novak possibly see in him? Maybe this was a huge mistake. He mustered up all his courage and jumped in the shower. Let the chips fall where they may, he was going.

 

When Dean saw Cas’ house, he really panicked. It was nice! Shit, what was he doing here anyway? He sat in the car and tried not to hyperventilate. He sucked it up and grabbed the 6 pack he had brought and went up to the door. He knocked. And very nearly turned and ran back to his car, but then the door opened and there stood Cas.

Cas was wearing jeans and a AC/DC T shirt. That alone surprised the hell out of Dean. He swung the door wide and invited Dean in.

“Uh, I brought beer.”

“Excellent! Let me just put it in the fridge and grab us a couple. Dinner will be ready in about an hour. I hope that’s not too late for you?”

“Nah, dude. That’s cool” Dean took a gander at the living room. It was very warm and inviting. Hardwood floors and lots of brick. Warm earth tones dominated the room. There was a fireplace that looked like it got a lot of use.

Cas was back with their beers.

“I thought we could sit out on the deck for a while.”

“Yeah, sure, lead the way.” 

Cas walked back through the kitchen to a back door paned in glass. Dean looked around the state-of-the-art kitchen and whistled.

“You really like to cook!”

“Yes, it relaxes me. It is not that much fun just cooking for one person, though. I’m really glad you accepted.”

“Based on how good it smells in here, so am I”

They went out to a small redwood deck. They each settled into a chair. Dean put his boots up on the railing and took a long swig of his beer.

Cas sighed. “I hope I didn’t cause you any trouble at work today.” 

Dean chuckled. “Nah, dude. My boss is my Uncle Bobby. He was just sort of confused, you know? That remark about smoking had me laughing all afternoon.”

Cas blushed. Dean watched his face flush in a very sexy way. 

“I have no idea where that even came from! I was just, well, angry and sort of flustered.”

“I was pretty damn angry too, well, for a few minutes, anyway. That kiss pretty well took the starch out of my crinolines.”

“I just wanted to get you to shut up and listen to me.”

Dean grinned, “It did that, for sure!”

Cas excused himself to check on dinner. Dean just took a pull of his beer and marveled at how easy this seemed. They were just chatting away almost like old friends. He was really glad he came.

Cas opened the door and called Dean in to eat. Dean sat at the rustic table while Cas filled his plate with an amazing looking and smelling stew. There were homemade biscuits and a green salad as well. Cas brought him another beer.

The next little bit was totally taken up with eating, and Dean making almost erotic sounds at every bite.

“Goddam, Cas, this food is amazing!”

“I’m really glad you like it. Be sure and save room for pie.” 

“Pie? Really? Dude, you rock!”

“Well, you did tell me there had better be pie.” Cas smiled and his blue eyes turned electric again. Practically took Dean’s breath away.

They finished eating and Cas began to clear away the dishes. Dean helped; they rinsed them and filled the dishwasher.

“You ready for pie?”

“Jesus no! I need to let things settle a bit.”

They just stood in the kitchen and looked at each other. Finally Cas said, “You are so beautiful, Dean.”

Dean looked flustered and said, “Fuck! You are the beautiful one! I’m just…”

Cas cut him off right there. “You have got to stop belittling yourself Dean! You are smart, funny and drop-dead gorgeous!”

And with that, he grabbed Dean by his T shirt and kissed him. It started out sloppy but very quickly morphed into an erotic tongue-fest. Dean put his hands on either side of Cas’ face and held his head firmly. Cas could hear moaning and was startled to discover it was him making the noises.

After what seemed like forever, they broke apart. Each man was breathless. Cas had his hands pressed firmly into Dean’s sides and Dean still held Cas’ face. The next second they were kissing in a frenzy, grinding hips against each other. Both men had a hard on that begged to be released from tight jeans.

Cas broke away first and grabbed Dean’s hand. “Come. Now.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the first sex scene!

Cas rushed Dean up the stairs and into the first bedroom. He pulled Dean’s T shirt up over his head, and then stripped off his own. They were kissing again, their tongues were taking turns searching the other’s mouth. Dean broke away and reached down to unzip Cas’ jeans. Cas did the same to Dean. Dean won that race, and yanked Cas’ jeans to the floor. Cas stepped out of them, and Dean yanked down Cas’ boxers, releasing a rock-hard cock. Dean whistled quietly. Cas was not quite as long as Dean, but his cock was incredibly thick. Dean reached for it, but Cas hissed, “Wait.”

Cas stripped Dean. His 8 inch cock jumped out of his boxers and hit his stomach. Cas didn’t waste a second, he dragged Dean to the king size bed and pushed him onto it. Dean landed on his back and Cas straddled him. Cas kissed Dean’s eyes, his cheeks and along his jaw. He moved down to Dean’s neck then trailed his tongue down to Dean’s nipples.

Dean had a small gold hoop pierced through each nipple. Cas sucked on them and then pulled on each hoop in turn with his teeth. Dean was moaning and gasping for breath. He ground his hips against Cas in need.

He then trailed his tongue down to the light dusting of hair that lead a trail to Dean’s thick bush. Dean had his bush trimmed but it was still incredibly thick. Cas sat back and looked at Dean’s cock. Pre cum was leaking out and actually running down his cock. Cas ran a finger along the shaft to get some on his finger, and then tasted it.

“Ummm… you taste good!”

Dean growled in a sexy, throaty way, “Please, Cas…”

Cas took the cue and put his mouth on the head of Dean’s cock. Dean was mumbling somewhat incoherently, something like “Fuck. Cas. Shit. Fuckcasfuckfuck!”

Cas ran his tongue around the head, and tasted more pre cum. He then slid his mouth down the shaft and cupped Dean’s balls at the same time. He worked into a steady rhythm, going as deep as he could. Dean was too long for Cas to take him all in. Cas ran his tongue along the underside of Dean’s shaft with every down stroke, while he gently squeezed and pulled on his balls. 

Dean had his fists balled up in the sheets and was rocking his hips. He suddenly said, “Cas. Gonna cum.” Cas pulled his mouth back a bit and waited, Hot cum flooded his mouth and Cas did his best to swallow it all but some ran down his chin. He collapsed on top on Dean and they both struggled to catch their breath.

“Holy balls of fuck, Cas! That… was incredible, dude!”

Dean grabbed Cas and flipped so that Cas was under him. He went straight to work, putting his mouth on Cas’ thick cock. He ran his tongue along the slit and tasted pre cum. Cas gasped. Dean applied some suction and went down the shaft all the way to Cas’ balls. Cas was moaning 

and crying out in a very erotic way. Dean cupped Cas’ balls and gently squeezed. Cas moaned, “I’m gonna cum! Now!” Dean felt hot, salty cum fill his mouth. He swallowed it all.

Dean fell onto the bed next to Cas. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and they just lay there, catching their breath, feeling completely sated. After a bit, Cas said, “Wow.” Dean smiled and said, “I concur.”

After a bit, Cas asked if they should shower, then go down for pie.

Dean grinned, “Sounds like a plan!”

Cas got up with a groan. “It has been a long time…” His voice trailed off.

“Has been for me too, dude. Like a year.”

“Really? It has been 18 months for me.”

“I think we need to take this slow, then, Cas.”

“Agreed.” Cas led Dean across the hall to the bathroom.

Dean could not believe Cas’ shower! You could fit the entire Dallas Cowboy roster in that thing!

“Dude, your shower is… uh… huge?”

“Yeah,” Cas smiled, “It was my big splurge last year. I couldn’t resist.”

Cas got the water to a nice temperature and stepped in. He held his hand out to Dean, who stepped in after him. Damn! It even had a tiled seat big enough for three to sit on.

Cas poured some shower gel into his hand and began to soap up Dean’s body. His hands wandered south and soon, he was stroking Dean’s cock, which was standing at attention again. Dean moaned. Cas’ other hand found Dean’s ass, and slid into the crack. Dean sucked in his breath and began to actually pant. When Cas slid the tip of his finger inside Dean’s tight hole, Dean jumped.

“Sorry, Cas, It has been a long time. Please, continue.” The formality of his statement made Cas chuckle but he continued to finger Dean while he stroked Dean’s cock. Soon enough, Dean was moaning, “I’m cumming! Jesus and Mary on a stick, I’m…” With that, ropy streams of cum squirted out and hit Cas right in the chest.

Dean had to sit on the shelf for a minute, or he thought he would fall down.

After he caught his breath, he grabbed the shower gel and cleaned his cum off of Cas’ chest. He watched as Cas’ cock hardened and soon enough, Dean was jacking Cas off. Cas had his hands on Dean’s hips and his head was thrown back. Dean was thinking about fingering Cas when all of a sudden, Cas cried out and his cock exploded a stream of cum.

“Sorry,” Cas looked embarrassed. “It really has been a long time.”

Dean just smiled at him and turned him around to allow the water to wash away the soap and cum.

Later they sat in the kitchen, wrapped in towels, eating apple pie. Dean was in heaven, moaning erotically at every bite. After having a second slice and falling all over Cas about his culinary skills, the went to the living room with a beer and cuddled on the couch. Cas had put on some classic rock CDs.

“I honestly can’t believe this is happening,” Dean said in a small voice. “It has been forever, and then I get drunk and beat the holy crap out of some guy, and next thing I know… here I am.”

“I really understand what you are saying, Dean. I am completely blown away by this… well, by _this_.”

“Listen dude,” Dean shifted on the couch so he as looking directly at Cas, “I had a really crappy childhood. I really am damaged merchandise. You think you know about me, but you don’t. I have never spent an evening like this with anyone. Never.”

“I get it Dean. I really do. I know you feel damaged, but honestly, I am pretty fucking damaged as well. You aren’t the only one who had a fucked up childhood. Or fucked up relationships, either. I’ve enjoyed myself more with you this night than I ever have before in my life, too.”

“Well shit. I guess we just have a lot to learn about each other then,” Dean said before he took his last swig of beer.

“You need to stay here tonight. You have had too much to drink for me to let you drive home. Do you have to work tomorrow?”

Dean shook his head no.

“Well, neither do I. Let’s get some sleep and see what tomorrow brings, then.” Cas smiled and pulled Dean to his feet. He led him up the stairs and back into his bedroom. They changed the sheets on the bed and crawled in. They were both asleep within minutes, spooning. Cas was the little spoon.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Briefly touches on child abuse, rape, a suicide attempt and cutting. There are no real details but proceed at your own risk if these are triggers for you.

Cas woke up first, and was momentarily startled to find another person in bed with him. Dean had his arm thrown across Cas’ chest. Once he got his bearings, he smiled brightly at the memory of last night. Cas gently moved Dean’s arm and got up.

He padded naked across the hall and took a very satisfying piss. He paused to look at himself in the mirror as he got his toothbrush out and began to brush his teeth. No nasty morning breath today! He didn’t shave; he never did on the weekends. He tried and failed to pat down his wild hair.

He returned to the bedroom. Dean was still sleeping soundly, so he dressed quietly and went downstairs to start coffee. Cas never felt fully awake or ready for the day without at least 2 cups of coffee in him.

He was just finishing up his first cup when a sleepy-looking Dean appeared in the doorway, wearing only his boxers.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. Uh, is that coffee, dude?”

“Sorry! I just woke up and needed coffee. So, how do you take yours?”

Dean grinned, “Black! Hot, dark and nasty!”

Cas chuckled while he got Dean his coffee and refilled his own cup, and they went out onto the deck to drink it.

They sat in silence for a bit, just drinking coffee and waking up.

Cas sighed, “Last night was wonderful.”

Dean grinned that amazing grin, “Dude it was awesome!”

“Will you spend the weekend here, with me?” Cas asked hopefully.

“I may never leave! But, I will need to go to my place and get some stuff. Clothes and stuff.”

“We can take care of that later. I would like to see where you live, Dean.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, I guess. It really is sort of awful, Cas.”

“I don’t care about that, Dean.”

Cas began to get up to get them more coffee, but Dean grabbed the cups and said, “no, let me.”

While Dean was gone, Cas thought about the statement ‘I may never leave.’ He supposed that Dean was just kidding, but Cas was painfully aware that he wished it was true. He sort of figured he felt that way simply because he hadn’t been in a relationship for so long, and he had been very lonely. But he also felt like there might be something more here…

Dean came back with the coffee and Cas asked him if he liked being a mechanic. This led to a very animated Dean talking about his job, and cars. Cas really enjoyed seeing Dean excited about something. When Dean told Cas about his car, a 67 Impala he named ‘Baby’, Cas found he was really looking forward to riding in it.

When their coffee was finished, Cas rinsed the cups while Dean went to get dressed. They had decided to go to Dean’s place and get that over with. Dean came down and grabbed his keys.

“Let’s hit the road.”

They left the house and walked to Dean’s baby. Cas was really impressed. It was a beautiful car and Dean just beamed when Cas told him so. Soon they were roaring down the street, listening to Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple blasting from the tape player.

Soon, Dean pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex that had really seen better days. He turned off his car, and said, “Well, this is it.”

Cas followed Dean upstairs and waited while Dean unlocked the door to his place. They stepped inside, and Cas was greeted by a shabby room. It was clean, but the furniture was old and beat up, and the wallpaper was peeling off the walls. The tiny kitchen was a part of the living room at one end. Dean was obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable.

“Home sweet home, as they say.”

Cas smiled, “Dean, it is fine. Stop being embarrassed and go get some clothes.”

Dean went into the bedroom, and Cas looked around. There was very little in the way of personal effects anywhere, but he stopped next to a framed picture of a little boy with a very pretty woman. Cas figured it was Dean and his mother. Next to that one was a photo of a smiling young man standing next to Dean. The guy was several inches taller than Dean and younger.

“My brother, Sammy. I call him ‘Moose.”

Cas smiled at the funny nickname for a kid who was, after all, pretty damn tall. Dean walked over and stood next to Cas, gazing at the photos. “That’s my mother and me.” Dean sounded sort of sad and wistful.

“I figured. She was beautiful.”

“Yeah, she was. Let’s go.” Dean grabbed a beat up duffel bag and headed for the door.

They drove back to Cas’ in silence. As soon as they walked in the door, Dean seemed to shake off the mood. He took his duffel to the bedroom, and when he got back downstairs, he said, “I’m starving! Shall we cook, call for take-out, go out or starve?”

Cas grinned. “I vote take-out”

They perused Cas’s collection of menus and decided on Chinese. Cas made the order and they grabbed a couple of beers and sat in the living room to wait on the delivery.

Dean got quiet again, and then said in a low voice, “I guess I need to tell you a couple of things. You need to know who you are getting involved with. And I suppose you were my counselor for a hot minute.”

Cas smiled. “Okay Dean.”

Dean sighed. It was a deep, from-the-gut sigh that was filled with sadness.

“My mother died when I was young. My dad was lost without her and he started drinking. Drinking like it was the only thing to do in the world.”

Cas just sat silently and listened.

“He couldn’t hold down a job, and money was bad. Sammy and I went hungry a lot. He had this skeevy friend who was always staring at me funny. One night they were both drunk and this guy says he will pay my dad money if my dad will let him have me for a couple of hours.”

The look on Dean’s face was heartbreaking. Cas wanted to reach out and hold him but he knew he shouldn’t. Not now.

“Dad didn’t think twice. He just took the money and called me over. He told me I had to go with this guy for awhile and to do whatever the guy said to do.”

Tears began to roll down Dean’s cheeks. Cas’ heart was breaking.

“After that, the guy had lots of friends looking for boys to be with. My dad turned me out, turned me into a regular cottage industry. When I was 12, I finally told one of my teachers. He reported it, Sammy and I got taken away and dad went to prison. He got murdered there the next year.”

The doorbell rang. “Shit! It’s the food. Just give me a second.” Cas jumped up, got the food delivery and put the bags in the fridge. He rushed back to sit near Dean. Dean had wiped his tears away.

“Fuck, I hate this. Anyway, to make a long story short, Sammy and I went from foster home to foster home until I turned 18. I got out, grabbed Sammy and never looked back. This is why I am damaged, Cas. I’m fucked up and angry and I am not really good boyfriend material.”

“Bullshit, Dean! You are perfect boyfriend material for me! All that shit is in the past. It affected you but it isn’t who you are now. You have got to stop putting yourself down! You have _nothing_ to feel guilty about. Nothing.” Cas was really angry. He would have killed Dean’s father with his bare hands if the prick wasn’t already dead.

Dean smiled a sad smile at Cas. Cas got up and got lunch together, mostly because he needed time to calm himself. Dean came in the kitchen and offered to help. Cas told him he could set the table and told him where to find plates and silverware. Cas admitted that he couldn’t use chopsticks.

After eating a bit, it was Cas’ turn to sigh. “Okay, now it is time for me to come clean to you.”

Dean looked at him with dazzling green eyes, just saying, “okay.”

“I was raised by my mother. I never knew who my father was.  My mother became a religious zealot. I was terrified she would find out I am gay. All she really cared about were her bible and her TV evangelists. I was a loner in school, never had a single friend. Then, when I was a junior in high school, I got raped. 3 boys from the football team jumped me, beat me up and raped me. I was so ashamed, I didn’t want to tell anyone. But my mother discovered blood in my underwear and I was forced to tell her.”

Dean had tears in his eyes again.

“To her, I was now an abomination and damaged beyond repair. 3 days later, I tried to kill myself. She found me, and had me committed. I spent 6 months in a mental facility. When I got out, I went into a halfway house and got my GED. I went to school, paid my own way and became a counselor to help other people.”

Cas sat in silence. Finally he said, “Oh yeah, I used to cut. I have been in one long term relationship with a guy who physically abused me. So you see, I am actually more damaged than you are”.

Dean reached out and put his hand over Cas’. “Dude, we are a matched set.”

This actually tickled the hell out of Cas, who started to chuckle. Soon he was laughing and that made Dean laugh as well.

After they cleaned up from lunch, Cas asked Dean what he wanted to do next.

Dean grinned from ear to ear. “Dude, I want to fuck you senseless.”   


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, back to the smut!

Cas and Dean raced for the stairs. Cas won, and made it to the bedroom first. Dean was hard on his heels. Dean began to strip, and he looked over at Cas. Cas was taking his time. Undressing slowly. Very slowly and in a very erotic way. Dean’s mouth went dry and he just stared at Cas. Cas had a very evil smile on his face as he took off his T shirt. His hand went to the waistband of his jeans. Very slowly he unbuttoned them. He pulled the zipper down about half way and then back up.

“Fuck, Cas!” It was all he could do not to run over and snatch those jeans off Cas! Finally, Cas had the zipper down and it became quite apparent that he wasn’t wearing underwear! Sweat popped out on Dean’s forehead.

“Dude, if I had known you were going commando, we would have been on the living room floor by now!”

Cas smiled as he stepped out of the jeans. Dean crossed the room and kissed him. He shoved his tongue in Cas’ mouth, then took it out and lightly bit Cas’ bottom lip. Cas grabbed his face and kissed him with a real sense of urgency. After a moment (an hour? A day? Dean had no idea), he led Dean to the bed and pushed him down.

Cas climbed on top of Dean and their painfully erect cocks rubbed together. A sound came out of Dean that was at once incredibly erotic and painfully needy. Cas began to kiss Dean’s neck, and then used his teeth. Dean was moaning, “Fuck Cas! I need…”

Cas covered his mouth with a kiss. “Shhh Dean. I’ve got you. Be patient.”

Cas used his tongue to run down Dean’s neck, his chest… he circled each of his nipples. When it became obvious that Dean couldn’t take much more, Cas quickly reached inside the drawer of his bedside table. He came up with a bottle of lube and some condoms. He tore open a condom with his teeth and rolled it down his very hard cock. He then dumped some lube in his hand.

He put his hand into Dean’s ass crack and rubbed the lube around the very tight hole. Dean was thrashing around and had wads of sheet in his fists. His cock was bobbing around.

Cas slipped one finger into Dean’s hole. Dean just about came off the bed. “Oh God, Cas. Oh my fucking god…” Cas ran his finger in and out. Dean was so tight! As began to worry that he couldn’t get Dean relaxed enough to take his cock. But he slipped another finger in and pushed until he hit Dean’s prostate. Dean hollered, “FUCK!”

He pushed another finger in. Dean’s muscle ring began to relax. Dean moaned and muttered.

“Cas, I can’t take any more. Please, please fuck me.”

Cas said, “Dean I’m worried I will hurt you.”

“I don’t fucking care! Fuck me now!”

Cas positioned himself between Dean’s now quivering legs. He pulled up on his hips and shoved a pillow under his ass. He put the head of his cock at the entrance to Dean’s asshole. He pushed. Nothing happened. He pushed harder and the head of his cock slipped in. He stopped to allow the muscle to relax more.

Dean sucked in breath at the flash of pain. It reduced to a burn, and then he pushed his hips against Cas, forcing the thick cock in more. Cas couldn’t hold back anymore, and he thrust in until his balls slapped against Dean’s ass.

He lifted Deans legs up to rest on his shoulders, and began to plow Dean like a jackhammer. Both men were crying out in erotic passion. “Touch yourself, Dean. I want to watch you jack yourself off,”

Dean grabbed his cock in a death grip and began to jack himself off. Cas found his rhythm and soon he knew he was close. “I’m gonna cum, Dean.”

“Yeah, baby. Cum in me.” Dean was close as well. Cas felt his balls tighten and he came in streams into the rubber. Almost at the same time, Dean moaned very loudly and shot thick streams of cum onto his belly.

Cas pulled his cock out and carefully took off the rubber. He tossed it into the trash can next to the bed, and then he collapsed onto the bed next to a very sweaty and sex-blown Dean.

When he could breathe again, Dean said, “Holy fuck on a stick, Cas!”

“I couldn’t agree more, Dean. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Hell yeah, it hurt! And it was fucking heaven, dude. But wasn’t I supposed to be topping you this time?”

“You will get a chance very soon. And, as far as pain goes, I guess it will get easier with time, Dean” This elicited a huge smile from Dean! “Yeah,” he said, “practice makes perfect!”

They lay in each other’s arms for awhile. Finally Dean said, “”Dude, I need a shower.”

“Yeah, I guess we do,” Cas chuckled. “First we shower, then we get some dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan. And later, I _am_ going to fuck you senseless.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reciprocal smut

After they got cleaned up, they headed out to a grocery store to pick up supplies, mainly beer and more rubbers. Then Cas took Dean to The Roadhouse Bar and Grille. They walked in and several people yelled, “Cas!” Dean laughed and mentioned Cheers. They sat in a booth and a perky little blonde came up to take their order.

She looked Dean up and down, and said to Cas, “Well, sweetie, you got yourself a real looker here! I was beginning to think you had taken a vow of celibacy!” She stuck her hand out to Dean and said, “Hi cutie! I’m Ellen.”

Cas said, “Ellen, this is my, uh, friend Dean.” Dean grinned and said, “Boyfriend. I’m his boyfriend.” After they ordered cheeseburgers, fries and a couple of beers, Ellen went to put in their order and get the beers.

“Dean, you said you are my boyfriend!”

“Well, aren’t I? I sure feel like your boyfriend.”

“Well, of course you are,” Cas stammered, “but I wasn’t sure if you might think it was too soon.”

Dean flashed those amazing eyes at Cas, and smiled. “Dude, you fucked me. I think it is way too late for ‘too soon’.”

Ellen brought the beers. “I believe this guy is good for you, Cas. This is the happiest I have ever seen you.”

“Oh, he is, Ellen. He is.” Cas beamed at Dean.

They chatted while they ate. Dean told Cas funny stories from the garage. They finished and all of a sudden, it seemed really important to both of them to get home. When they got home, Cas put the beer in the fridge. Dean waited in the living room.

When Cas came in, Dean drew him over to the couch. He sat down and drew Cas over to stand in front of him. He began to strip Cas’ clothes off. Cas noticed the box of condoms on the coffee table, and apparently Dean had gone upstairs and retrieved the lube while Cas was in the kitchen.

When Cas was naked, Dean stood up and stripped as well. He pushed Cas onto the couch and began to kiss him. Cas responded right away. Dean ran his tongue down Cas’ throat and on to his chest. He nipped lightly at Cas’ nipples and was satisfied with the noises Cas made. He then kissed and licked his way down to Cas’ cock, which was fully erect. He licked the shaft then put his mouth on one of Cas’ balls.

Cas sucked in his breath and moaned. Dean sucked a ball into his mouth gently, and then did the same to the other. Cas’ legs were quivering, So Dean stood up and told Cas to get on his hands and knees on the couch. Cas positioned himself so that his head and shoulders were across the back of the couch. He thrust his ass up in the air for Dean.

“Wow,” Dean said, “beautiful view!”

Cas heard Dean open the condom box and take out a rubber. He listened to the sound of Dean tearing one open with his teeth. Next he heard the cap snap open on the lube.

Dean spread Cas’ butt cheeks and Cas moaned again. The lube was cold but it warmed quickly. Dean put one finger inside of Cas’ hole. Cas whispered, “Oh fuck, Dean! It feels so good.”

“That is the idea, lover.” Dean finger fucked the tight little hole for a few then slid a second finger in. He pushed up until he hit the sweet spot and Cas cried out. Soon there were three fingers doing duty.

“God, Dean,” Cas moaned, “Please.”

“Please what, baby?”

“Please fuck me now.”

Dean moved closer, and grabbed his cock. He put the head to Cas’ hole and pushed in. Cas cried out in total ecstasy. Dean pushed in until he was balls deep. He pulled out until just the head was in Cas and then plunged in again. Cas was so tight!

“Please, Dean, harder.”

Dean obliged. He plowed in and out roughly, but Cas responded with breathless moans, “Oh god fuck oh god fuck me.”

Dean continued until he felt his balls tighten. “I’m gonna cum in you, baby.” He felt that sweet release and held his cock still until it was done squirting.

Dean pulled out, eliciting a moan from Cas. He peeled the rubber off, and grabbed Cas. He flipped him over so that he was lying on the couch.

“Now, you need to cum for me.”

He took Cas’ cock in his mouth and gave him an expert blow job. Cas wiggled and made the most exquisite sounds. Soon he came in Dean’s mouth, and Dean swallowed it all.

When Cas could breathe again he whispered, “That was amazing!”

“We aim to please.” Dean grinned.

 Dean brought them both a glass of water. “Need to stay hydrated, dude.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut n fluff

They were cleaned up and sitting on the couch together, listening to some Led Zeppelin. Cas reached over and closed the lid on the condom box.

“You know,” Dean said, “I have never once gone bareback. I think we should get tested.”

“I never have either.” Cas looked thoughtful. “Sounds like a good idea.”

“I got tested about 6 months ago and was totally clean, but you never know. I could have caught something from the sex slave I keep in a box under my bed,” Dean laughed.

“Oh really? I guess he starved to death while you have been here with me then.” Cas had a twinkle in his eyes… those amazing blue eyes that made Dean’s heart twitch every time he looked into them.

They decided to watch a movie. Cas popped some popcorn and brought them each a beer while Dean perused Cas’ DVD collection. When Cas came back, Dean stood with his hand behind his back and a really goofy look on his face.

“Pick something out?” Cas was intrigued.

“Well, yeah…” Dean looked positively embarrassed.

“So give! What is it?”

Dean took the DVD from behind his back and held out Finding Nemo. “I’ve never seen this one.”

“Really? I love it! It is sweet and sort of sad.” Cas put it in the player and they settled in to watch it.

Cas put his arm around Dean, who put his head on the older man’s shoulder.

When it was over, Dean sighed deeply. “That was great. Nemo’s dad really loved him”

Cas was completely taken aback. “Oh baby, don’t be sad!”

Dean’s eyes flashed. “Fuck that! I’m acting like a girl. What you wanna do tomorrow?”

Cas still felt bad for Dean but didn’t show it for fear of making Dean angry. “I don’t know! Any ideas?”

“We could just stay in bed and fuck like 12 or 15 times before I have to go home.”

Cas felt a pang of sadness and a touch of panic at the idea of Dean leaving, but again, did not show it. “12 or 15 times? You have a really exaggerated sense of how many times I can go in a day, dude!”

“Well, we could just shoot for a personal best, then.” Suddenly Dean yawned.

“You know, it’s late. We should go to sleep.” Cas stood up.

“Yeah,” Dean smiled. “Gotta rest up for the marathon fuck session tomorrow!”

They fell asleep spooning again. This time, Cas made Dean be the little spoon.

 

Dean was having the most amazing dream. Cas was tonguing up and down the shaft of his very hard dick. Dean moaned and thrust his hips up and…

His eyes flew open to find Cas going down on him. Cas flashed his eyes up at Dean and there was a merry twinkle in them. Dean grabbed Cas and said, “Get your ass over here! Time for some 69!”

Cas flipped around to give Dean access to his cock. Not only was it hard and throbbing, a big drop of pre cum dropped onto Dean’s chin. Dean lapped it up and set to work on Cas.

Dean ran his tongue around the head of Cas’ dick and put it in the slit. Cas moaned with a mouth full of Dean. Dean began to suck and tongue the shaft of Cas’ cock but Cas had a head start in this game.

When Cas deep-throated Dean’s cock, Dean lost his rhythm completely. No one had ever been able to deep throat all 8 inches of him before! The feeling of being down Cas’ throat did it for him. He said, “Cas I’m cumming!” around Cas’ cock in his mouth.

He felt it all the way in his toes. He orgasmed so hard he saw stars! Cas swallowed all his cum in a few gulps.

Dean set back to work in earnest. He sucked, flicked his tongue and played with Cas’ balls with his hands. He rubbed that sensitive skin under Cas’ balls. In no time, Cas was moaning and saying, “I’m cumming! Oh shit, Dean!” Hot streams of cum filled Dean’s mouth. Dean tried to swallow it all, but damn! Cas came buckets!

When Cas was settled in cuddling with Dean said, “Wow! What a way to wake up!”

“Well, when I saw your gorgeous morning boner, I couldn’t resist. And besides, you _did_ say we were going to have sex all day.”

“Damn straight I did!! And by the way, no one has ever deep-throated me before! That was kick-ass.”

“You are pretty damn long, but I can repress my gag reflex.”

“Repress away, dude! Now, I have got to piss so bad!”

Dean stood up and padded across the hall. Cas listened to the sounds of Dean’s very impressively long piss. Next Dean was brushing his teeth. Cas lay contentedly, thinking about how great this was. He found he was greatly distressed at the notion of Dean going home tonight. He wondered if they were moving too fast. But he quickly decided he didn’t care. Dean meant the world to him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day of sex leads to tears

Dean padded out of the bathroom and said, “Your turn. I’m starving like Marvin here.”

Cas jumped up and went to the bathroom. He pissed, brushed his teeth and tried to make his hair lay down, unsuccessfully.

Dean was already downstairs making coffee. He was wearing only boxers and Cas was again struck by the man’s sheer beauty. Cas busied himself with getting things together to cook breakfast. But when the coffee was ready, they both took a cup out on the deck.

While they sat there, Dean reached over and ran a finger along the pale scars that marred Cas’ forearm. “This makes me sad.”

Cas looked at the scars and sighed. “I haven’t cut in a few years. I got control and learned better ways to deal with emotional pain.”

“I don’t ever want you to do that again, babe,”

Cas felt a real catch in his throat. He jumped up and said, “Time for breakfast.”

 

Dean stayed on the deck while Cas cooked. He thought about ways to deal with emotional pain. He had to admit that things had been better since he gave up hard liquor, which had always been his go-to when he was hurting. But he also had to admit that Cas was a huge part of why he was doing better. He had always held himself back with people before, never wanting to let anyone near. And yet, here he was, happy and relaxed with Cas after a couple of weeks. He had actually told him about this childhood! That alone was amazing to him.

 

Later they were finishing the incredible breakfast Cas had cooked. Dean could see himself getting fat if this continued! He guessed he needed to start working out.

“So,” Cas asked, “When do you see Meg next?”

“Tomorrow, after work.”

“Listen, Dean. You need to not tell her you are with me. You can certainly tell her you met someone, but just don’t tell her it is me, okay? We could both get in a lot of trouble.”

“I get it Cas. Don’t worry.”

“You need to get off probation before we can be completely open.”

Dean nodded as they both got up to clean up.

 

As Cas finished up loading the dishwasher, Dean came up behind him and put his arms around his waist. Cas turned around, and Dean grabbed him. He lifted Cas up to sit on the counter. He reached inside Cas’ boxers and took out his cock. Just the mere act of Dean touching it made it begin to stiffen.

Dean leaned over and took it in his mouth. He just held it there without moving at all. It got harder and thicker and soon, Cas was squirming and begging, “Please! Dean please, fuck Dean, please do _something_!”

Dean began to swirl his tongue around the shaft, and then moved his mouth up and down. He applied just enough suction to make Cas go completely ape-shit. Dean cupped Cas’ balls and gently rolled them gently around in his hand while he continued the blow job. Cas was mumbling unintelligibly, then said, “Oh fuck! I’m gonna cum, Dean!” And he promptly did just that.

Dean stood up with a huge grin. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand in a very endearing way. Cas reached over to a cabinet and took out a bottle of extra virgin olive oil. Dean had a quizzical look on his face, watching Cas dump some in his hand.

Cas reached down and grabbed Dean’s very rigid cock, poking out of his boxers. He ran his hand up and down, spreading the oil evenly along the shaft. While looking Dean deeply in the eyes, he began to pump Dean’s dick. He used a twisting motion on the way down, and gripped tightly while going back up.

Dean maintained eye contact, but Cas could see his pupils getting bigger and sort of glossing over. “Shit, Cas! Ohhhh, fuck….” It didn’t take too long before Dean was shooting streams of cum against Cas’ legs.

Dean’s legs were wobbly and Cas held him up for a few. “Damn, man! Where did you learn to do that?”

Cas grinned, “I use it on myself. Learned it through trial and error.”

It turned out that getting olive oil off skin was somewhat troublesome. Dean had to take a quick shower before he didn’t smell like a salad anymore. They joked about needing a bottle of lube in every room in the house.

The rest of the day was spent in a blissful mix of sex, naps and occasional breaks for food. After dinner, they agreed to end the day out on the deck with a beer. They had more sex in 3 days then either of them had in years, and when they were honest with each other, they both admitted to being sore. It was a happy sore, but sore none the less.

After Cas said he would make them appointments to get tested, Dean sighed, “I guess I need to get on home.”

Cas hated to let Dean go. He desperately wanted to ask him to stay but he realized that made no sense. Cas sat on the bed while Dean gathered up his stuff into his duffel bag. When they walked back downstairs and stood at the front door, Cas felt close to tears.

“Please, call me tomorrow.”

“I will, Cas, I promise.”

“Come back and have dinner with me?”

Dean agreed to do just that. They kissed, a sweet, romantic kiss, and then Dean walked to his car. Cas watched him drive away. He went back inside and sat down and cried.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good day and a (hopefully) good decision...

Cas pulled himself out of his crying jag to check his phone because of a text ding.

**From Dean 11:32 : Hey I miss you**

Cas hurriedly responded.

**To Dean 11:35 : Oh god I miss you too!**

**From Dean 11:41 : call or text me about the appt. tomorrow, K?**

**To Dean 11:46 : Of course! Can you make it for dinner by 6:30?**

**From Dean 11:50 : you better believe it, baby! I gotta get to bed. Will be dreaming of you**

**To Dean 11:53 : Okay. Sweet dreams! Bye…**

It did make Cas feel better, reading the texts over again. He got ready for bed, and surprisingly fell asleep in minutes.

 

Dean was miserable when he got back to his apartment. It never looked so small and shabby to him. He got ready for bed but couldn’t sleep, so he decided to text Cas. That made him feel better and he drifted off to sleep smiling.

 

Monday was a busy day for both of them. Cas had a fully booked day and Dean had a ‘62 corvette come in that had been in an accident. Cas called the clinic between clients and then texted Dean at lunch time about the appointment. Dean texted back that it was fine and told Cas how much he was looking forward to dinner.

Cas got off work at 4:30 and rushed to grocery shop for dinner. As a joke (sort of) he bought 6 bottles of lube, one for each room. This got him a very strange look from the check-out guy, but Cas just smiled.

When he got home, he changed into an old T shirt and jeans. He began the prep for dinner but left off the actual cooking. He was making spaghetti and after he got the sauce on to simmer, the rest wouldn’t take any time at all to fix. Then he sat down to wait for Dean.

At 6:15, Cas heard the familiar roar of Dean’s Baby. He rushed to open the door. Dean was coming up the walk carrying a six pack and looking so gorgeous! He had on a tight T shirt and jeans that were ripped in the knees. Cas’ felt his heart leap.

 

Dean didn’t get out of his counseling session until 5, and he was really worried he’d be late to Cas’. He rushed home, took the quickest shower ever, jumped into some clothes and ran out the door. He stopped for some beer and made it to Cas’ early! He was proud of himself in a big, goofy way. When he was walking up the walkway and Cas opened the door to greet him, he thought his heart would jump out of his chest.

Cas looked almost shy as he said, “Hi.”

“Hey babe! Here I am, early even!” He took the beer into the kitchen and put it in the fridge. Cas followed him in, and he turned around and grabbed him, pulling him in for a long kiss. He stuck his tongue into Cas’ mouth and it was electric.

They broke apart and Cas said, “If we don’t stop, dinner will be ruined.”

Dean remarked about how good the sauce smelled, and then they went out on the deck for a beer.

Cas asked him how his counseling session went.

“You know, I think it went pretty damned okay. I told her about my very beautiful and very understanding new boyfriend. And, you will be proud of me, I talked a little bit about my childhood.”

Cas smiled broadly. “Really? That’s fantastic! I really _am_ proud of you, sweetheart!”

“And when she asked me how come I was able to open up about it, I told her how my new beau had helped me with that, too."

 

They chatted about their day during dinner. They discussed getting tested which was happening after work on Thursday. After they finished and cleaned up, they went to the living room. They sat next to one another on the couch. Suddenly, Dean noticed the fresh bottle of lube on the coffee table. He looked questioningly at Cas, who was beaming.

“Go take a look around, Dean,” Cas said with a big smile. Dean went upstairs and Cas could hear him going from room to room. He was laughing when he came back.

“Wow, you are one literal dude!” Dean got a sexy leer on his face and said, “So, which room shall we christen tonight?”

“Your choice,” Cas replied with a smile.

Dean grabbed Cas by the hand and took him upstairs. He opened the guest room door, which had only a twin bed in it. He led Cas in and immediately began kissing him. He pushed Cas up against the wall and trapped his arms above his head. The kissing became frenzied in short order.

They stepped apart to allow Dean to pull Cas’ T shirt over his head. His hands went to Cas’ jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling the zipper down. He yanked Cas’ jeans and boxers down to his ankles, and Cas stepped out of them.

He pulled Cas to the bed and pushed him down onto it. Cas’ cock was already standing up, and Dean wrapped his lips around it. Cas moaned, and mumbled, “Dean, take your clothes off too.”

Dean reluctantly let go of Cas’ cock with his lips and hurriedly stripped. He dived right back onto Cas’ cock, worshipping it with his mouth. Finally Cas moaned, “Please stop, Dean. I want to fuck…”

Dean pulled his mouth away, and said, his voice husky with passion, “Cas, I want you to fuck me.”

Cas leaned over to the bedside table, and produced a rubber. He tore it open with his teeth and then rolled it down his cock. He reached for the handy bottle of lube, and popped the cap, pouring some in his hand. He moved and put Dean on the bed. Dean got up on his hands and knees, putting his head into the pillow and presented Cas with his ass.

The sight took Cas’ breath away! He ran his hand into Dean’s ass crack and found the puckered and tight hole. When his finger went in, Dean gasped. It felt so good, but he wanted more. Like _now_!

“Please, babe, I need more… now, please…” He sucked in breath when a second finger went in and soon after, a third. He felt like the top of his head was coming off. “Fuck me now! Now, please…”

Cas slid his fingers out and put the head of his thick dick to Dean’s hole. He forced the head past the tight muscle and Dean reveled in the flash of pain. Dean pushed his hips back to signal Cas he was ready for more. He honestly didn’t trust himself to try and speak.

Cas got the message, and plunged in. Now Dean was sure his head had exploded. He gasped and moaned as Cas reamed his ass. “Oh fuck, fuck… Cas, it’s so good…”

He grabbed his own cock and began to jack himself off. It didn’t take long before he felt his balls tighten and he whispered, “I’m gonna cum, Cas, I’m cummi…” and he blew his load all over the bedspread.

 

Cas could feel Dean’s tight hole begin to spasm and that was it for him too. “Oh babe,” he yelled, “I’m cumming too!”

After Cas reluctantly pulled out and got rid of the rubber, they laid sort of side by side on the narrow bed. It was so nice to just lie in each other’s arms quietly. Finally Dean sighed and said, “I better get up before I fall asleep.”

 

They cleaned up, got dressed and threw the bedspread into the washer. Then they went back on the deck to have a beer. Suddenly Cas said, “Dean, why don’t you move in here?”

“Think about it. You hate to go home, just admit it. It tears me up every time I even think of saying good bye to you. I get that we haven’t known each other all that long, but how better to really get to know each other?”

Dean looked thoughtful for a minute. Then he grinned that amazing grin that just lit up his eyes, and said, “You know, I think this is a damn good idea!”

Cas jumped up and threw his arms around Dean. Dean pushed him back and stood up, and they hugged like their lives depended on it.

They decided that Dean would go home tonight and pack up his stuff. Dean would pick up Cas from home after work, they would both go to Dean’s and move his stuff. They were both so excited! It almost made up for having to say goodbye tonight. Almost…   

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And yet more mind-blowing sex!

The next couple of weeks were fantastic. It was like living a dream for both of them. Dean made so much progress in his counseling that Meg let him off probation. They celebrated by having their first real date. They went to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. They had gotten their clean bills of health the week before, but agreed to wait to go bareback until Dean got off probation. They were both anxious to get home that night.

 

It was a Friday. Neither of them wanted to have to go to work the next morning after a night of mind-blowing sex. When they got home, Dean grabbed Cas and began kissing him the second they got in the house. He sucked and bit Cas’ lower lip. Cas was panting and grinding against Dean’s crotch. They almost broke their necks racing up the stairs and into the bedroom.

They frantically tore each other’s clothes off and collapsed on the bed. “So,” Cas asked breathlessly, “who’s doing who first?”

Dean answered, “I really want to fuck you first, Cas, if that’s okay?” Cas answered him with a passionate kiss.  

 

Dean grabbed the lube and poured a generous amount into his hand. Cas was lying on his back with his legs apart and his knees bent. He had put a pillow under his hips. “God fucking damn you are gorgeous!,” Dean said. He slid the hand with the lube into Cas’ butt crack and found the tight hole with a finger.

Cas closed his eyes and made little noises. Dean loved coaxing those noises out of his lover. Soon, a second finger was in and Dean finger-fucked him. Cas wiggled around and moaned.

“Please, Dean, I am so ready!”

Dean pulled his fingers out and pushed the head of his dick in past the tight muscle. “Oh my god, Cas, it feels so amazing!” Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and pushed up to get more.

Dean began to fuck his love with a frenzy. He simply could not slow down, the feeling of actually being IN Cas was too good. He eventually felt his heavy balls tighten up and didn’t say anything. He just exploded inside of Cas.

Cas was already in complete ecstasy, but when he felt Dean’s hot cum shoot up inside of him, he cried out. He almost passed out it was so good.

Dean collapsed on top of Cas and tried to catch his breath. After a minute, Cas squeaked, “Dean… can’t breathe…” Dean rolled off with a chuckle.

“Wouldn’t do none to kill you before you get your turn, I guess.”

After they rested up a bit, Dean announced it was Cas’ turn. Dean used his mouth to get Cas going, and then settled in on his back. He watched hungrily as Cas got lube. He bent his legs up in the air to give Cas full access.

Cas rubbed lube around Dean’s pink, puckered hole. Then he pushed 2 fingers up inside of Dean, all the way to his prostate. Dean’s eyes went wide and then he moaned in a very erotic way. Cas ran the fingers in and around Dean’s hole until he felt the muscle begin to relax. He always had to take a bit more time because his cock was so thick and he didn’t want to hurt Dean.

Finally, neither of them could stand it anymore, and Cas put Dean’s legs on his shoulders. He pressed the head of his dick in past the muscle ring and held a moment to let Dean relax even more. And then he really went to work! He plowed Dean for all he was worth. Dean was moaning and muttering, “Oh yeah, baby! Fuck me baby, fuck me hard!”

Cas felt the start of his orgasm. He held his cock fully inside of Dean and almost lost his mind as the feeling of ejaculating inside of Dean. They were both bucking and riding it out for as long as possible.

Cas fell to the bed in a heap of sweat and exhaustion. After they had both brought their breathing close to normal, they both just looked at each other in amazement!

That,” Dean grinned, “was _awesome_!” Cas couldn’t have agreed more.

The next day, Dean got called in to work for a couple of hours. Cas said he would grocery shop while Dean worked, so they would have more time to fool around and less needed to be spent on chores.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: cutting. Don't read if this is a trigger for you.
> 
> Cas gets a shock and cuts. Dean comes to the rescue. A happy ending.

Cas was just standing in the checkout line when he heard a voice calling his name. His mind screamed ‘no, no, it can’t be’ just as Fergus Crowley grabbed his arm and swung him around. “Hey, still a fag?”

Cas froze. “What… what are you doing here?”

Crowley laughed his evil laugh, the same one Cas remembered so vividly from that terrible night in high school. “Got a divorce, moved back to town and got a job as the general manager here. What’s the matter, aren’t you glad to see me? I would think you would have a soft spot in your heart for the man who popped your faggy cherry. I would be happy to do a repeat on you…” Crowley’s hand tightened on Cas’ arm.

Cas started saying, “no, no, no, no” and yanked his arm out of Crowley’s grip. He ran out of the store, hearing that evil laugh all the way to his car, just echoing in his ears.

 

Dean got home about an hour later. He was surprised that Cas didn’t meet him at the door, seeing as how his car was there. “Cas? Honey? Where are you?” When he didn’t get an answer, he got scared and began to run from room to room looking.

When he got upstairs, the bathroom door was closed and he could hear Cas sobbing on the other side. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked.

“Cas? Sweetie, what’s wrong? Let me in!”

When he didn’t get a reply, he banged his fist on the door. “Cas! Open up!” When there was still no response, Dean shouted, “You open up this door this second, or I swear I am going to kick it in!”

The lock clicked and Dean threw the door open. He was horrified to see Cas huddled on the floor, blood dripping down his arms where he had been cutting himself with a razor blade.

“Jesus Cas! What did you do? Let me see.”

Cas stretched his arms out, still sobbing.

“Oh my god, baby, what did you do to yourself?” Dean grabbed a towel and wiped the blood away. He was relieved to see that nothing was gonna need stitches, but Cas had carved a series of X’s down his forearms.

Dean got gauze and wrapped around Cas’ arms and lifted him up. He wrapped his arms around his sobbing lover and guided him into the bedroom. They sat on the bed while Dean held him and waited for the sobbing to subside.

“Baby, tell me why you did this.” Cas shook his head no.

“Oh god, was it something I did?” Cas shook his head violently no.

“Someone hurt you.” Dean flashed anger. “Tell me. Tell me and I will kill them with my bare hands.”

Cas sobbed again, “That’s why I can’t tell you, Dean! You will hurt them, and you will go to prison! I would kill myself if you went to prison because of me!”

This brought Dean up short. He struggled to contain his anger.

He sat as watched as blood began to soak the gauze. “Fuck, Cas.” He went back into the bathroom, got more gauze and changed the bandages. He was relieved to see the bleeding was slowing considerably.

“Okay, Cas. I only said I would kill this person because it hurt me so much to see what happened to you. Do you get that?” Cas nodded.

“Good. But you have got to realize that you have to tell me what happened. It must have been pretty bad for you to break your promise to me.”

Cas looked utterly miserable. “I just got scared,” Cas said in a tiny voice.

“Okay,” Dean said. “Look, if I promise not to do anything violent, will you please tell me? I promise you. Have I ever broken a promise to you?

Cas shook his head no.

“Okay then. Please tell me what scared you so badly.”

Cas took a deep, ragged breath. “I was grocery shopping. I was standing in line, and he just called out to me from across the store. He walked up and asked me if I was still a faggot. He grabbed my arm and asked if I was glad to see him, since he… he…”

“He what, Cas? Since he what?”

Tears ran down Cas’ face. “Since he popped my faggoty cherry. He said he could do a repeat if I wanted.”

Dean couldn’t breathe. “Cas, this was one of the guys who raped you?” Cas nodded miserably.

Dean had to get up and paced the room to calm himself down enough to speak. Cas was watching him carefully.

Dean sat back down and took Cas in his arms. He could feel Cas crying against his chest. It broke his heart.

“Look, Cas. I’m really proud of you, okay? I am proud that you didn’t do worse to yourself. I wish you would have called me before you did anything, but I get it, okay. I get it.”

Cas looked up, tears shining in his beautiful blue eyes. “Really, Dean? Really proud?”

“Yes, baby, really, really proud.”

Dean calmed Cas down enough to get him downstairs. He fixed him some soup and watched him until he ate it all. Then he took him into the living room and popped in Finding Nemo into the DVD player. It was the first movie they had ever watched together. Dean just held Cas in his arms until the movie was over.

He checked Cas’ arms and then got him ready for bed. They crawled in and Dean held Cas until he went to sleep. Dean didn’t sleep much at all that night.

When he woke up, Cas wasn’t in bed with him. Dean jumped, panicking. He raced downstairs and skidded into the kitchen.

Cas was just pouring a cup of coffee. He got another cup and poured one for Dean, and then they went out on the deck. They sat in silence for a bit.

“The guy is the new general manager of the grocery store, Dean.”

“Okay,” was all Dean said. “Get dressed, we’re going shopping.”

Cas looked completely panicked.

“Relax, Cas. I swear I am not going to lay a hand on him. But we are going there. Today.”

Awhile later, they pulled into the parking lot of the store. Dean grabbed Cas by the hand and in they went. Cas froze up right away, staring at Crowley. Dean walked in further, and turned to Cas.

“This is not how I had this planned, exactly, but here goes…”

Dean got down on one knee. People paused to watch. Cas looked completely confused.

“Cas, you are my everything, my world. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I can’t face the idea of my life without you in

it.” He reached in a pocket and pulled out a ring box. “Cas, will you marry me?”

It was as if people around them were holding their collective breath. When Cas said, “Yes! I will marry you, Dean!” A huge cheer went up as Dean slipped a ring onto Cas’ finger, then stood up and kissed him.

Then he turned and walked towards Crowley, who was looking a combination of shocked and disgusted. “Mr. Crowley?” Dean boomed.

Crowley nodded.

It was brought to my attention that you harassed and even threatened my fiancé in this store yesterday. I want you to know I am reporting it to your corporate headquarters. Plus, if you ever, ever say anything even vaguely hostile to my fiancé again, I will personally come in here and kick your sorry ass!”

With that, he grabbed Cas and a basket and they did their shopping.

A week later Crowley was gone and there was a new general manager at the grocery store.

 

 

Dean and Cas got married 4 months later in a small civil ceremony. They told everyone they were going away on a honeymoon, but they snuck back home, unplugged the phone and spent the next week in complete marital bliss. 

 


End file.
